Rabbi Joan Cubell, right, with Cantor Geniene Miller, left,
and Adina Baseman Sharfstein at a recent Shabbat service.
Photo provided by Norman Karl Garrett
By Janis Fontaine
Rabbi Joan Cubell wants everyone to feel welcome at Congregation Beit Kulam, which she founded in July in Boca Raton.
Beit Kulam, which means The House of Everyone, is a Reform congregation. Reform Judaism is the largest Jewish denomination in the United States, accounting for about one-third of U.S. Jews.
Cubell recently returned from the biennial conference of the Union for Reform Judaism, which took place in Orlando on Nov. 4-8. “Reform is the way to go because I believe in pluralism,” she said. “It’s more welcoming.” More than simply accepting everyone, true pluralism rejoices in the knowledge that diverse groups can thrive at the same time, she said.
She is the first female rabbi to be ordained as rabbi with s’micha (a rabbinical ordination) from Tifereth Israel Rabbinical Yeshiva in its 60-year history. She’s also the first woman to be accepted as a member of the American Council of Rabbis.
Those achievements are important, but they pale beside her work as a rabbi of the people.
Cubell grew up in Randolph, Mass., a close-knit community about 18 miles south of Boston, in a traditional Jewish family. Her father, Frederick Cubell, was a respected businessman. “I miss the sense of community,” she said of the small New England town. That sense of community is exactly what she wants to build with her new congregation.
Cubell earned a business degree from Northeastern University in 1982 and joined her father’s financial planning firm after graduation. Her father spent 54 years helping people with their money problems. It took a long time and a lot of careful cultivating to grow hundreds of strong relationships in business. That created a bond with the community that was important to both father and daughter.
“We watched their families grow up and their kids go off to college,” she said, often paying those college tuitions with money the Cubells had helped them save. Cubell still has clients she’s devoted to, but the work itself has her a little bored.
“It’s just not fun anymore,” Cubell said. “There’s a lot of paperwork, and more interference from Uncle Sam. It’s just not the same.”
Like so many wealthy Northerners, the elderly Cubells flew south to Florida when they retired. When her father became ill in 2012, Cubell came to South Florida to care for him. “He didn’t even last the year,” Cubell said.
Then her husband, David Okun, had a stroke. Though he has recovered most of his skills, he still has challenges with his right arm and with retrieving just the right word sometimes.
Despite these personal hardships, Cubell said it was “bashert,” meaning meant to be.
She loves being a rabbi, she said. “It’s my passion.”
Cubell is a new kind of rabbi.
“What people need from a rabbi has changed. The family unit is no longer together,” Cubell said. People connect more through their kids’ friends at school or at extracurricular activities than they do any other way, Cubell said.
“But the children all have cell phones and they don’t talk anymore, they text.” Cubell said she knows a woman who texts her son in the next room to tell him dinner is ready. It’s a different world.
She doesn’t blame technology; she embraces it. “We use technology to keep in touch with our congregation,” Cubell said.
If social media are the best way to get and stay connected in 2016, she’s in with both thumbs. And if you doubt that you too are searching for “connection,” ask your Facebook friends or go count your LinkedIn endorsements. The more you have, the more connected you are, right?
“We host ‘meet-ups,’” she said, referring to the popular website meetup.com, which connects people who share the same interest. “There are a lot of lonely people out there, and some people aren’t comfortable going into a big synagogue with a large congregation. Maybe it’s been a long time since they’ve gone. Maybe they don’t know Hebrew and don’t want to be embarrassed.”
At Beit Kulam it’s different.
“We’re a small, congenial congregation. We provide a place for making friends, for making a real connection. We know that’s what’s important. There are a lot of unaffiliated Jewish families in our area and I want to reach out to them.”
They use music to connect to new people, because music is a universal language. It puts people at ease. Cubell’s musical team includes Cantor Geniene Miller, who performed with Cubell at Temple Beth Shira, before they decided to fly solo.
“I’m a different type of rabbi,” Cubell said. “My door is always open, and it’s open to everyone. There’s no pretense here.”
The congregation has about 80 members and 30 or 40 people still come to services each week at Cubell’s home. It’s cozy, but it will have to do until she finds a suitable permanent home.
Don’t let the crowded conditions intimidate you. Seating might be a little tight, but you’ll be among friends.
For more information, visit www.cbkulam.org.
Comments