Dr. Bill Benda enjoys a day on the water with his best bud, Buddy. Benda had Buddy euthanized at home using the Lap of Love program when the pooch was suffering from mass cell cancer. Photos provided
By Arden Moore
For a dozen years, a yellow Labrador retriever named Buddy was the constant companion of Dr. Bill Benda. They took walks together. Buddy loved bounding into water at the beach, fetching tossed balls and joining Bill on boat rides.
“I adopted him from a rescue group when he was 1 and at his prime, he weighed 115 pounds,” says Bill, a semi-retired emergency room physician who lives in the County Pocket near Briny Breezes. “He was handsome, calm, very loyal and I believe he was the GOAT dog in our neighborhood,” meaning greatest of all time.
Buddy was diagnosed with mass cell cancer that required chemotherapy treatments from veterinary specialists in Miami last year.
In the morning of Nov. 6, Bill knew it was time to make the gut-wrenching decision to let Buddy die peacefully.
“Buddy couldn’t stand up anymore. He couldn’t pee, but he was still totally alert,” says Bill. “I knew it was time to say goodbye, so I called Lap of Love that morning. They came that afternoon to perform the at-home euthanasia. I miss Buddy every single day.”
Throughout Palm Beach County, pet parents are saying goodbye to their beloved pets by choosing at-home euthanasia ceremonies. Lap of Love is a network of veterinarians all over the country that offers veterinary hospice care and performs at-home euthanasia.
Dr. Meagan Meador, of West Palm Beach, is one of these veterinarians at the Lap of Love center serving Pam Beach County. And, like Bill, she is a pet parent who understands the power of compassion, loyalty and love that pets can bring.
On her right ring finger, she wears a silver ring containing crushed blue quartz and ashes of her late cat, Simon.
“I adopted Simon when I was in veterinary school at Tufts University,” she says. “Simon was a one-eyed cat who I instantly fell in love with. We became a team. For 15 years, he was with me through difficult challenges — when I moved from Massachusetts to South Florida, through multiple job changes, marriage and a divorce. I memorialize him every day by wearing this ring.”
Meagan spent 12 years as an emergency medicine veterinarian and loved the high-speed pace but began suffering from burnout during the coronavirus years. She was looking for some type of veterinary work she could do outside a hospital.
She found Lap of Love.
“I took this job part-time in 2021 and made it full-time in 2022,” she says. “I thought it would be something to do as a stepping-stone to my next veterinary venture, but I love it so much because it is so fulfilling. I am honored to help families be able to say goodbye to their pets in as peaceful and painless way as possible.”
She continues, “Sometimes I also cry during the visit and that is OK. It is important for families to see that we veterinarians are also human and vulnerable. I tell them that grief is the process of changing a relationship of presence to a relationship of memory.”
Lap of Love stays in touch with these pet parents by sending sympathy cards with personalized messages from veterinarians who met them, by offering them grief support resources, identifying cremation options and sending out compassionate emails one year after the euthanasia to simply say that they are thinking of the family.
Many of us lucky to share our lives with cats, dogs and other companion animals also must endure tear-filled goodbyes when age and disease rob the quality of life in them. We want to do something special to honor the passing of our pets.
Benda built a floral memorial as a way to honor Buddy.
Bill decided to honor Buddy by creating a floral memorial garden in his front yard that features a statute of a dog sporting angel wings. He also alerted a few neighbors of the scheduled euthanasia that day.
Word spread quickly. Throughout the day of Nov. 6, friends came to visit Bill and Buddy.
“Some came and sat down with Buddy in the front yard,” he says. “Some hugged him and me. One brought a cold burger that Buddy, of course, ate. The veterinarian from Lap of Love came in the afternoon and she let us have all the time we needed — my neighbors and me — to say goodbye to Buddy. He was such a great dog.”
He paused, sobbed and then added, “Dogs don’t live as long as we do because they earn heaven much faster.”
Arden Moore is an author, speaker and master certified pet first aid instructor. Learn more by visiting www.ardenmoore.com.
More on Lap of Love
Lap of Love offers at-home hospice care and performs at-home euthanasia for pets. It was founded in 2009 by a pair of veterinarians, Drs. Dani McVety and Mary Gardner, and now has centers in 43 states and more than 300 veterinarians. On its website, Lap of Love offers a lot of resources, including pet loss support groups, counseling, ways to deal with grief, ideas to memorialize pets and much more. There is also an Angel Fund where 100% of donations are given to support families in financial need so that they can give a peaceful end-of-life, at-home experience to their pets. Learn more by visiting www.lapoflove.com, calling 561-800-0192 or emailing SoFlo@LapOfLove.com.
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