By Lona O'Connor
Someone near you suffers from a mental illness. That’s the first thing mental health professionals want you to know during May, Mental Health Month.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness and the National Institute of Mental Health, about 1 in 4 American adults suffers from some form of mental illness.
About 1 in 5 children experiences severe mental disorders, according to NAMI, including attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, mood disorders and major depression. “Mental illness is a really loaded term,” says Terri Mortensen, child and family program manager at the Faulk Center for Counseling in Boca Raton. The center offers low-cost treatment for children and adults and runs a number of support groups in Palm Beach County.
“People have thoughts automatically coming into their heads, images from movies and television,” Mortensen says. “Therapy is often a mystery to people. If you have diabetes, you go to the doctor and take the medicine, but depression and anxiety are just as valid and their physical impact has been shown to be significant.”
Everyone looks at mental health in a different way, depending on background and culture.
“In Haiti, there is no concept of mental health,” says Sarah Selznick, senior director of programming at the Achievement Centers for Children and Families, which serves the Haitian-American and African-American communities in Delray Beach. “They don’t know that support is available, or that they can reach out to someone who could help.”
The solution, says Selznick’s colleague Joanna Reid, takes time and patience. “When I say I can help you, there is skepticism, so first I have to build trust.” Several staff members at the center speak Creole; other staff members visit families at home to explain services to them and listen to their concerns.
Besides depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and other illnesses, there are also mental illnesses triggered by tragedies like the death of a spouse or major life changes like aging, divorce, physical illness — even seemingly happy events like retirement or having a baby.
“Everybody has difficult times, things they’re dealing with,” says Mortensen. “Not every one of those rises to the level of needing outside intervention. Sometimes you just have to have coping skills in place.” Individual and group therapy usually occurs in a definite time frame, says Mortensen. “The goal is for people to not have to continue in therapy forever, but to find the tools to manage life issues that come up,” says Mortensen.
Support groups, by contrast, can go on for years and may produce friendships.
For those who have lost a spouse, for example, the time quickly arrives when the condolence cards have stopped coming and even the most sympathetic friends have gone back to their own lives.
“People are starting to tell them to get over it,” says Mortensen.
That’s the time when a group of people in a similar situation is the best tonic.
“People say they can talk in our group about things that are bothering them, they can talk about their lost spouses,” says Fran Rosenheck of Boca Raton, who is a volunteer with a widow/widowers group at the Faulk Center. Rosenheck joined a bereavement group after losing her husband as a young woman. She liked the idea of being able to help others in a similar support group.
“One member of the group said, ‘I don’t know what I would have done without this group,’ ” said Rosenheck. “They really get close to each other.”
Merle Krimsky of Boca Raton and Philadelphia works with a Faulk Center support group of about 25 people who are divorced or separated.
“This group is so tight. There is such a strong bond,” says Krimsky. “You need that when you’re separated or divorced. They watch out for each other.”
Lisa Stebbins, a psychology student at Florida Atlantic University, works with a group of people in their 80s and 90s.
“They could feel lonely because their wife or someone else is not even with them anymore,” says Stebbins. “My purpose is for them to have someone to hear them.”
Many people do not know what to say when they encounter a friend who is struggling. They may feel awkward or even frightened by seeing someone else’s anguish.
“If a person seems kind of off, you could say, how’s everything with you?” suggests Mortensen. “That’s different from, what’s the matter with you today? Instead, you keep it open, you ask with some care and concern.”
If the friend confides that he or she is feeling anxious or depressed, says Mortensen, “you can respond with something like, I imagine that’s really hard for you, an empathetic statement. You don’t have to solve the problem. People just want someone to listen. You might also ask, have you been able to talk to somebody about it?”
If your feelings are having a negative effect on your life or work, that’s the time to consider talking to a mental health professional, says Mortensen.
This year’s theme for Mental Health Month is “Life With a Mental Illness.” To share insights into what a mental illness feels like, participants are tagging social media posts, pictures and video with #mentalillnessfeelslike.
In recognition of Mental Health Month, the Faulk Center for Counseling, at 22455 Boca Rio Road, Boca Raton, is hosting a butterfly release at 5:30 p.m. on May 12. Suggested donation is $15. For more information call 483-5300 or visit www.faulkcenterforcounseling.org
Lona O’Connor has a lifelong interest in health and healthy living. Send column ideas to Lona13@bellsouth.net.
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